Here I go again... on my own!
Hello all! I finally have the mental capacity to begin revamping my once thriving creative endeavors, so yay me! If you love to read, and really want the WHOLE enchilada, you can read my full life update here. The thing is, coming back after being gone for so long feels, unfamiliar. It feels strange and a bit disillusioning. I equate this a bit to how (some) people began to slowly socialize again after being so isolated during covid. You don’t quite know where to begin, and picking up where you left off just doesn’t seem practical. I mean, the fact of the matter is, certain things in life change you. The situations that lead you to where you are have changed. EVERYthing changes. Alas, so must we. Even though I went into deep hibernation mode at a time when I had already laid so much ground work, I don’t quite want to start from scratch either. Hence, revamping!
BUT! As the age old saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. I have been off of everyone’s radars for so long, the momentum that I once had, has started to dissolve. To be more specific, IG engagement is down drastically. Stories alone use to get thousands of views, and now only get around 100 - 300. Same with posts and patterns! And don’t even get me started on Youtube. My highest viewed video is about 64,000… My most recent? 64. Sixty-Four y’all! Which is pretty discouraging due to the fact that Youtube has changed its monetization policies, and you must now have a minimum of 4,000 watch hours, within a 365 day period, OR 3 million shorts views within a 90 day period, to earn even a penny. But fret not! You can always pay Youtube to promote your channel, to TRY and reach these astronomical numbers… so that they can then pay you, of course. It all makes perfect sense! I also factor into account that creators are growing in skill at an even faster rate than I’ve ever seen. People really dove deep into the fiber art world over these past few years, and many are truly talented! And very fast! I did not grow up in a time where the internet demanded constant content to stay relevant, so it doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to others. But those who came up in it? Its like being born with the ability to breathe underwater. Kind of sucks because, with these apps and websites specifically, I feel as though the pioneering artists made it cool (as they do with everything), and the ones who are truly flourishing, are the businesses, and the ones who bend the knee. A harsh realization that I’ve come to is, it’s not about who did it first, it’s about who does it more consistently.
The amalgamation of artist and admin is something that, it seems, needs to be mastered in order to have any form of sustainable success. So I suppose in some way, that also contributed to me taking a step back. I do get it though, people need money. People got bills. People gotta eat! If they are presenting a formula for you to succeed, I completely understand the people who follow it. I do acknowledge my privilege to even be able to have the time to think of doing anything different. A lot of us are in pure survival mode. Things just began to feel forced and inauthentic. I found myself trying to keep up with trends, begging for engagement, not really creating for joy, getting stressed because something that I put so much blood, sweat, and tears into was like a tree falling in the middle of the forrest with no one around to hear it. Now don’t get me wrong, when I’m in my creative mania mood, I’m a machine! But most of the time, I’m very very very slow. And very intentional with a lot of the pieces I like to create. And while crocheting IS a slow fashion practice, the nature of social media is anything but. Which makes it that much more complexing.
With all of its issues, I do think social media and the internet can be amazing tools. I’ve found so much community, and get so much inspiration from unexpected places all over the world. I’m still working on figuring out my relationship with all of it, and trying to find some sort of balance instead of dropping off the face of the earth whenever I get overwhelmed. I’ve recently paused my Patreon account for a few reasons, but I mostly felt as though the demand wasn’t enough for the work I was putting into it. It’s hard to figure out what types of things should go behind a paywall. And honestly, I really do hate charging any amount of money for anything. Not that I don’t think I deserve to be paid, but pricing my creations is pretty difficult! I personally feel them to be invaluable. I’ve also started to slowly post Youtube videos again (even though the viewership isn’t how it use to be). But guess what? If I built it once, I can build it again… and even better!
I’ve also realized that these apps are really big on suppression, especially if you don’t follow their rules… or pay. But I remembered I have something else I could use at my disposal… a mailing list! I feel like sometimes my brain is so scattered, and I start or try different pathways, that sometimes I forget or can’t keep track of it all. I’ll get better at that though! Has anyone else been feeling like this in any way? I’d love to hear all of your thoughts!
My words of encouragement to everyone in a similar situation; it is never too late to start, or in my case, start over. Every day is a brand new chance to take a chance. For the ones that have stuck around for so long, I appreciate you so much! I cherish each and every ounce of support and encouragement. I know that doing something different from the norm is a very looooong, slow, and arduous process, but I commit to trying. Thank you again!
Please let me know if there’s any feedback for what you’d like to see from me in the future. I’m open to suggestions as I rediscover my passion!
Please sign up for my mailing list as well! I think it’s a way more effective way to reach people more directly and organically without playing the social media algorithm games. Pinky promise I won’t spam!
Support of ANY amount, big or small, does not go unnoticed. From a like, to a comment, to a share, all of it means so much… because it means I can share with more people. And as fine as I am not being perceived at all and making things only for me, I feel like it’s doing a disservice to not share my words, creations, knowledge, and experience with those who might benefit.
Stay tuned!