Of all the negative connotations that nationally recognized holidays have been receiving (as far as origin goes) in the recent societal awakening of universal morality, I THINK Labor Day is one of the least problematic (as far as I know). To tell you the truth though, any day of the year where most people have an extra day off is fine with me (I'll sort out if I wanna be outraged by the underlying meanings later). Anywho, even though most people have the day off, some of us never really have days off... and those people are the ones working for themselves! Sure there is a bit more leniency involved as far as breaks, but it's sort of like being eternally "on call". As a writer, for example, I'm constantly being inspired by outside influences. It's pretty hard to turn off my brain and just enjoy things anymore. Every activity has meaning in the grand scope of the creative process, however mundane it may seem. Quite overwhelming when you think about it huh? Eh, I suppose it is. I guess that's how you know you truly love doing something; when you do it even when you're supposed to be "taking a break".
As the unofficial end of summer has approached, it's sort of like a check-in with myself to see how things have been going so far this year. But first of all, why is it the end of summer already??? Let's see, what have I been doing so far this year? How have I grown? What have I learned? I know it seems like I make these sort of evaluations every 5 minutes, but I do think it's important that we reassess our life frequently to see if we're still on track with everything we want to be on track with, ya know? I should low key probably be doing this at the end of every week (perhaps I do that at therapy though. So glad for therapy!). To answer all of my previous questions to myself, it seems like I haven't really been doing much. This again is another reason why I like to keep myself in check. Sometimes it may not seem like we've come a long way until we can clearly see the progress in a more plain and simple format.
So far, this summer (and year) seems to be one of learning from failure. Now, I actually kinda hate the word failure (it's so harsh!), but then again tough love is a language I understand all too well. I saw something on twitter a while ago, a hashtag #shareyourrejections, where a bunch of sorta successful people in their respective fields were sharing stories of all the rejections they received before finally breaking through. It was inspiring! In taking a page out of that book, I decided to make a list of some of the rejections I've received (only going back as far as the beginning of this year). There was, of course, that modeling campaign that I was rejected from a few weeks ago (the one that offset my London trip -___-). There was the rejection from the writer's retreat scholarship, which I worked REALLY hard on compiling a 20-page excerpt, paying a submission fee, and having my older sister write a letter of recommendation for. Then there was another artist grant I applied for, a podcast boot camp for Spotify, and a few more acting and modeling jobs for which I was overlooked. All of this being accompanied by declining website traffic and THREE unsubsribes from my mailing list in just one month. It's all good though. Even though the knife does sting a bit going in sometimes, I've learned so much better how to deal with "failing". The trick is to not even look at is as a failure anymore. More-so trial and error.
Why am I even talking about any of this on such a beautiful relaxing summers day you might wonder? Well, it's because, through all of the assessments of myself, I've come up with yet another new venture. To get right into it, I've been entertaining the idea of taking a break from my weekly blog posts. *Cue Gasp* That's right everybody, after about 4 long years of doing this thing consistently every single Monday, I think it might be time to let it all simmer... marinate...brine... ferment (you get the idea)! I've been contemplating the idea secretly for a while now, but I've decided to share my thought with whoever might be reading. Embarking on this journey, my main goal was to have something that would keep my creativity sharp and consistent. I also wanted to stop being so consumed with perfection to the point where I never shared anything. I'm grateful for accomplishing the goal that I set for myself... a success story if there ever was one! I do, however, think the time has finally come for me to put my efforts into other projects. As much as I love the challenge I have set before myself, it has sort of put me in a creative box sometimes. Being bound by the Monday deadline, keeping it short as to not overwhelm the reader, coming up with new topics to expound upon even when completely unmotivated to do so at times, I just think a break would do my brain some good. My new goal is to create something even bigger than I ever have before, which is something that I've always wanted to do. My fear is that without the accountability of others, how will I stick to it? At least with this, I could SAY I do it every Monday and there is actual archival documented proof.
So here we are everyone! My thoughts on (the metaphorical) paper. Can I just say as a side note, I've grown to love the last paragraph of each blog post so much. It really helps me sum up all the things I so desperately try to express in an understandable way (for mainly myself, and secondarily anyone else who has braved the lyrical labyrinth of my writing style and navigated through my numerous mental tangents). All in all, I really do look at my writing as one big labor of love. I truly do it because I enjoy it, and nothing more. Even when I do decide to take my break, I will for sure still be writing. Perhaps even more! As of now, I don't know when this break will start exactly, how long it will be for, or the changes I will make to this site during the time off, but I'm excited about the new adventures! Hopefully, it will all be worth it. As always, let me know your thoughts everyone! What is your labor of love? What topics should I write about as I wind down? Will anyone miss hearing from me every week? (Is anyone BBQing today??) See you next week (for now)....
P.s. This must REALLY be a labor of love especially since I literally don't get anything out of it. Everything has remained free and donation based since day one!
P.p.s. My break will be used for many purposes. Hopefully, I will work on finishing this dang book I keep talking about, once and for all! I will also start the work on my musical. Lastly, I will do some much needed site restructuring, promotion and expansion. Any collaborations are greatly appreciated!
P.p.p.s. This goes for the Thursday videos as well!