So, full disclosure, I actually wrote an entire blog post already but decided to scrap it all because I thought it sucked! Now here I am on a blank page, the world is my oyster! I suppose I'm having one of those writer's block days? Yea, I think I am. Anywho, this month I've just been trying to zen out and crochet as much as I can. Which to the naked eye, yes, seems boring! I've tried to curate this website into some weird little hybrid of my personal life and general human philosophy, but I what can manifest itself if I'm currently not experiencing anything new? Where is the drama?? Where is the conflict for this blog's protagonist, moi? I mean, of course there are the series problems such as me not being rich and sort of gliding through life as it comes, and these seasons problems which include family estrangement and general national unrest. This episode in particular however seems a bit dry. Like that "flashback-esque" filler episode that gets thrown in whenever the story writers need just a bit more time to come up with something juicy. Nobody likes that episode.
This week I suppose I've just been reflective about a bunch of things in my life. Every once in a while it's good to just sit back and gather all of your notes about your life so far. Are we living up to our full potential? What things have we been doing that we realize we actually hate? What changes need to be made? At this moment, I think my life is decent at best. But how can it be even better? We should never get too comfortable in our everyday routines that we forget to improve. Often when we are doing well or keeping steady, we don't strive to be greater out of fear that our steady course might falter. Sort of like how when the GPS will ding and say they've found a better route, while in the middle of the one you've got comfortable with. Do you take the chance at something faster, or just stay the known course?
There is something that I wrote in my notes this week that sort of has something to do with all of this. I wrote down, "How come the better something makes you feel, the worse you feel when it's over?". I actually just did a Google search for this question, and looks like we have an original Bretony quote on our hands! I'm not sure what even prompted me to write this down, but it can definitely be applied to a number of different things. As far as what I was attempting to formulate into some cognitive thought process earlier, perhaps we also choose not to change for the better because of how far we might fall afterward. The general rule of thumb is, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. And naturally, falling scares the crap outta people!
This leads me to another question, why are all of the best things in life are so tainted by something unfortunate? Candy! Oh wait, that can give you diabetes... Sex! Uh oh, that can lead to STDs... Cute babies! But you have to basically almost die from childbirth... Alcohol! Liver disease... Perhaps maybe I do drink a bit too much sometimes, but it's so darn fun to feel inebriated. It's almost like it's worth all that agony the next morning (even though I always proclaim sobriety each and every time). Is life just a series of tests to see how badly we want the feeling of something good that we must go through the risk of something bad just to prove it? Where is all the guilt/risk-free happiness??
A few other things I wrote down recently include, but are not limited to:
- Is it rude if I say I don't want to be invited to any more weddings, baby showers, or large birthday dinners?
- Can you get high on peppermint oil?
- Is anything ever convenient?
The point of this blog post you may ask yourself? I counter that question with another, what's the point of anything? I think the point of everything is that in looking for the point, don't forget to simply be...feel... experience life in the raw. When nothing major is going on in our lives, that is the perfect time to sit back and reflect on all the nuances. It's proven that through meditation we can become more observant. Sometimes an uneventful week or month can be the most insightful. Utilize your downtime as much as you can! I'm one of those people who believe that nothing is ever truly a waste of time, and everything has its purpose. Even this 'meh' post has the potential to strike a minor (or even major) chord in the soul of some unknowing individual. You never know what impacts the world, or what others may relate to, so it's good to at least get it out there whatever way you can!
P.s. This give me the idea of doing an actual Q&A for a blog in the future. I think that would be pretty cool. One of my favorite things ever is answering questions! Stay tuned for a Facebook post regardingthis...
P.p.s. In my days of watching Love and Hip Hop, I do agree that when everything was going smooth, it made for some pretty mundane television. But alas, it's wrong to wish misfortune for entertainment purposes.
P.p.p.s. I suppose I could've written about my time in Las Vegas, but since I lost all my money, I'm feeling a little bitter... too soon! Perhaps next week though!