Women are some of the strongest creatures on the planet. We’re tenacious. We’re empathetic. We’re problem-solvers. We have immense amounts of qualities that, when combined with our femininity, seem to become impactful almost by tenfold- but, we often find ourselves in situations where we compromise some or all of these qualities with nothing to show for it. This must end! When was the last time you planned a week’s routine solely around the way it benefits you and you alone? Life comes with responsibilities that push our wants and desires to the back burner. Priorities should always be taken care of but, when do you begin a routine around taking care of yourself? When was the last time you threw caution to the wind to cater to your mental and spiritual health? When was the last time you did things to make yourself smile and feel loved and cared for? Don’t let responsibility be your excuse to not make these things the norm.
Watching women enter and own the workforce must have been a sight to behold for the Baby Boomer generation. They worked hard to ingrain images of us as skilled laborers as well as household caretakers, but I’m not sure they remembered to warn us of how much the world can suck you dry: draining your life force with every work shift, every diaper changed, every meal cooked, every problem solved in the office. The list of things done never catch up with the list of things to do.
I, myself, am in extreme fatigue. I’m over-worked. I worry about finances constantly. My friends and family rely on my input a tad too much and genuine romance eludes me. I go to bed anxious every night, just thinking of the plans for the next day. I just can’t seem to find my balance; the balance everyone but me appears to have. I find myself feeling inept. Things are seemingly taking control of my life and I no longer feel like I have a say in the tasks I’m obligated to complete. I attempt to relate this sentiment to my close friends, but am slowly realizing that this is a wide-spread issue. We’ve all lost control.
The control I speak of comes in many forms: coercion, fiscal responsibility, moral policing, familial input, and many subsets that fall into random combinations of the others I just mentioned. Life is a clusterf*ck. Life is a random mixture of adventure and stagnancy. We’re all rushing to slow down and not realizing that we relinquish our choices to live more fulfilling lives daily, to corporate structures that barely know we exist outside of the benefits we serve to them. We allow media ploys to drive our consumer mentality. Also, we are coerced into feeling like we’re left out if we don’t follow the trends of our era constantly. Over-saturation of stereotypes in the media also force the masses to subconsciously internalize distaste and resentment for people they haven’t even met yet, but we all actually pay to view it; stream it; download it. I’m still trying to understand that one.
Finances are the driving force of the current world. The social construct of money was created by humanity, but seems to be the true villain in this epic. The current forms of currency in the US don't even have fiscal value anymore; every dollar was supposed to be worth a sum in gold, but now is just a number on a screen anticipating a decimal. People feel empowered by money but are truly weakened by it. It becomes a conundrum: too much of it has you scared to lose it, too little has you feeling without value. In both situations though, humans forfeit control.
Your family is the people who love you when others don’t even acknowledge you are alive. They teach you the basics on how to integrate into society as seamlessly as life taught them how. They attempt to create mini versions of themselves in you because it compliments who they are when you succeed. They feel they succeed through you. That mentality is perfectly fine and often the driving force behind individual motivation and goals but, it can be crippling if they hold on too tightly and can be very damaging if they hardly hold on at all. One’s maternal environment completely shapes how that person views the world; controlling their perspective and often their morals or lack thereof.
Morally, everyone aims to be the best human they can be given their life’s circumstances. Integrity is always respected publicly, but is also a subjective topic. Morals are taught in the household and upheld by law in the streets but, what happens when your morals differ from your neighbors’? The fear of judgement and confrontation often drives control away from the person who innately knows the right things to do for themselves. Many are afraid to upset those they are just acquainted with, but frequently subconsciously aim to control their families and close friends because, they feel their personal will power stolen in efforts to maintain steady accord in their communities and social statuses.
One doesn't have to be a control freak to want to do things for themselves to make themselves feel present and acknowledged in their own lives. Regaining control of the situations we allow ourselves into and sifting through people we force into our lives is crucial to personal satisfaction. Having a firm hand in regards to the things you allow to happen to you is never a bad thing. Shift your schedule to include two hours of personal time a day- preferably divided in halves to start and end your day- it’s a perfect start to earning back the control of your life. Passivity is a weak trait and one needs to understand that it is not your purpose to just exist but, to live.
As women- the problem-solvers- we contemplate ways constantly to finesses our situations. We know how to evoke the emotions in ourselves and others that drive us all to achieve great things. That feminine control is beneficial to the human race and is most essential to you. Own it. To experience the beautiful moments in life every day and realize and appreciate your place in them is truly the human agenda. It can’t be refuted because we all want that, somewhere deep down we all crave that control. I now aim to appease my cravings daily, do you?