Hello everyone! I'm officially another year older, and another year wiser. Birthdays are kinda like New Year's Eve in a way. You do all the counting down, some even do the midnight thing. After it's all over with you feel like you are about to start a brand new chapter. Also, it's one of the only times in your adult life that all of your friends and associates actually unsolicitedly interact with you (birthdays and major holidays). I felt so briefly popular! I had a lovely and relaxing spa day. Very age appropriate if I do say so myself. I actually need to start going to the spa more often. It's great for my feng shui (also to sweat all those weekly toxins out). Afterwards, I really just wanted to melt off to slumberland, but alas, I pulled myself together the best I could and went out for some celebratory champagne. For those of you who know me personally, I don't have to remind you that I am in fact a horrible planner. Like HORRIBLE. If it were up to me to plan literally anything, I would bet on that thing being very unorganized. Planning things to do for my birthday is no exception. Last year, thank heavens I had a perfectly executed surprise party. But this year it was super small scale and last minute to the extreme. I didn't even leave my house until 1am! Alas, I had an exceptionally wonderful time. Comparing both birthdays, I realize that while I did enjoy them both, (trying to figure out a delicate way to put this) I am definitely much more of a lone wolf/small wolf pack type of girl.
The book that I have been stuck on for decades, "Quiet" by Susan Cain, talks quite a bit about loners such as myself. People like me find solace in doing things alone, working alone, dealing with small groups of people, and larger groups only when necessary. I very much enjoyed all of the texts, emails, phone calls, and social media interaction on my birthday, and it would have been great to see all of my friends and colleagues in one mass ritualistic celebratory experience, but the small scale gathering I did have, was absolutely perfect in itself. I've really had to mentally come to terms with this fact in recent years. For some odd reason, the way life and social structure is set up, being the way I am is frowned upon. We are brought up to be social butterflies. Lives of the parties and all that jazz. "The more the merrier" mentality is favored over "one is the loneliest number". It's actually not the loneliest! Not to me at least. I use to try so hard to be super sociable. I thought the more friends I had, the more pointless numbers I had in my phone, the more house parties I went to, the better. That is one thing I love about growing up. You find out that you really can be exactly who you are without forcing yourself to be something else.
I know people who claim they never do things alone. Movies alone? Unheard of! Going to the park alone? Never! Going out to dinner alone? Are you mad?? Crazily enough, I do a lot of these things alone, quite often. That doesn't mean I'm specifically lonely either. I just really really like myself. Hanging out with me is fun! I get to make all the rules, and even change them at the very last minute if I want to. I can go wherever I wanna go without having to vote on it. I can leave a place whenever, I can get there whenever. I can be on my phone the whole time. I can even stare into space the whole time, and save my precious vocal chords for important things... like karaoke. It's actually pretty great every once in a while, to just be comfortable enough with yourself and go on a lovely day out. See what adventures you get into. It's so very freeing.
The week before my birthday, I was actually forced into a sort of solitude. All of the people I interact with on a daily basis...were all out of town! Seriously, all of them (which is only 3, but still). For one whole week, I was basically left to fend for myself in the city. It did have it's lonesome moments. I have come to terms with the fact that I do enjoy it both ways every now and then. My message to all of the other loners of the world, however, don't feel as though you can't enjoy the lovely company of your own darn self. Or even a small group of even 1 or 2 people. Quality is truly over quantity. These are the times when you really get to know yourself and each other. I've always said that I can't really consider a person a true friend unless I've hung out with them one on one before. I think this is pretty true! How can you really know someone if their personality is muffled in the crowd? How can you really know yourself? Go treat yourself to a dinner. Have an at-home spa day. Shut out the world every once in a while and really appreciate your alone time. you may like it more than you think!
p.s. Also for my birthday, for the first time ever, I did karaoke in a private room for a whole hour and a half. There were only 2 of us the whole time! I know, I know, that's like nerd level karaoke, but it was SOOOO fun! (I usually actually do sing "All By Myself". That's my jam.
p.p.s. I seriously need to hunker down and finish this darn book! I got 2 amazing new books as presents that I cannot wait to read...
p.p.p.s. Thank you again to everyone who made my birthday SUPER special and awesome!! Next year, however, will be topping all of the charts. So watch out!