I've been a little bit back and forth regarding today's topic. For the most part, I don't like to talk about super serious things. I like to keep it light, friendly, and mostly motivational (with a touch of venting from time to time). Today, I would like to talk about something that will probably take more than one post to fully expound upon. This is also a subject in which I've never even really talked about! I suppose I have so much more to still understand and analyze on the matter, but I'm sure by writing down some of my thoughts, the thoughts of others will also become more present. Anyyyywhooo, let me get right to it... today I am talking about the unknown, yet the inconceivable amount of abuse on women in the world.
What initially motivated me to even THINK about writing on this subject was probably the Donald Trump media exposure (I suppose, thanks). Of course, some people already knew him to be a sleaze, however, the fact that a person like this, so blatantly reflecting "America's" viewpoints has an opportunity to be in charge of our entire country is...thought-provoking. Also this week, I happened to see not one but TWO movies that struck a similar chord. The movie Birth of a Nation was for sure hard to watch, but I made it all the way through. I knew about the mistreatment, the torture, and even the rape back then, but seeing it so graphically tends to put people in a mindset. I honestly can't even imagine what life must have been like for slaves back then. It really makes you think. As a woman, a light skinned woman as well, I can only imagine how many of my ancestors were taken against their will and forced to conceive a love child of their oppressor. Something as beautiful as giving life, forever tainted by such violent acts on a young mother. Women have always been, first and foremost, seen as sexual objects in societies. Concubines for pleasure! Times may seem to have changed, but have they really?
The second movie I saw was a lifetime movie (I know, I know, but I secretly love lifetime movies. Also, the Unsolved Mysteries reruns used to be my jam). If you've ever seen Straight Outta Compton, this movie was a different viewpoint of the same era, by the female Ruthless Records artist Michel'le, called Surviving Compton. The movie was fairly decent actually, so watch if you can, but the story was COMPLETELY different from it's more popular successor. I never knew of this story at all! In the first half, Dr. Dre was beating this girl up! And apparently for no reason at all. She somehow managed to have a child with him through all of the drama (I also didn't know that she had a child with scary Suge Knight). The thing that really got to me though was in the beginning of the movie when her mom was giving her advice about men. She told her that sometimes men beat women because of love and that if it ever happened to her she should do everything to fix the relationship or something like that. WTF??? Just shocking. Thankfully I've never known of my dad to hit my mom, but I know that it still happens in this day and age. And some women really do have the mentality that it's all out of love. No girl, just no.
Looking at all of these different scenarios, I took a step back to look at my own life as a female. I have never had anything super drastic happen to me, but I do realize that women are still constantly disrespected. The worst part about it, though, is that women don't even seem to KNOW when we are being mistreated. Before social media days when I used to live in Detroit, I'd walk around the mall with friends for fun (we were too young and broke to do anything else). I had no idea what "cat calling" was back then, but it was always just normal when men (even super old ones) would yell out any old thing that was on their mind at the time. Some of the things they said would be harmless, but some would turn pretty derogatory, or even violent when ignored. I just always thought this was a part of life, something I had to deal with as a pretty girl. Some even said I should be flattered! At any workplace I've ever been, men have always been blatantly flirty. What can I do if this is just how all men are? Even in certain instances when I would actually like someone, I've had situations develop against my will. If I like someone, does that give them a free pass in their mind? When I'm riding the subway at night, I shouldn't be afraid because I'm the only woman.
The more I'm exposed to through open discussion and other women speaking up, the more I can begin to realize the difference between acceptable and completely Unacceptable. I am aware that a large portion of my readers and supporters just so happen to be men, and I really hope you are reading for the right reasons. To the men, you should realize that women are not solely put on this earth for your every pleasure, and DEFINETLY not to be a punching bag for your frustrations in life. If I'm dressed a certain cute way, it's probably not to entice every man I see. Respect is the key word here people. To the women, we really do have to start realizing our worth. If we hold ourselves highly on a pedestal, we will expect the same from everyone else who crosses our path. Treat YOURSELF right first, so you can recognize when someone else ISN'T.
As I said, this is just the tip of a huge Titanic-sinking iceberg subject. I do have tons more to say on the matter, but I would really like to hear other thoughts, so feel free to share! One thing that I realize is the power of women sticking together is a magical thing. Society really likes to trick us into thinking we are all in competition with each other. Guess what, we aren't! Let's be helpful to our fellow females! We are all really in this together, but change happens one person at a time.
P.s. This is not an endorsement for Hilary though (She still annoys me. Perhaps a political blog soon).
P.p.s. One tip for the ladies to really get into feeling like the princess you truly are, spa day/treat yourself day! I have these all the time. All it takes is a nice bathtub, bubbles, candles, a face mask, rose petals, whatever you like, just get super tranquil and pamper yourself. Also, if you like to indulge yourself in a delectable treat every once in a while, you deserve it, so go ahead and treat yo'self!
P.p.p.s. The subway really is a scary place for a cute girl alone at night. I remember when I first moved to Washington Heights, I was taking the train back home one night in a dress. I happened to fall asleep. I felt a hand grazing my leg up and down, so I opened my eyes to find a creepy guy (fake sleeping) and sitting right next to me. I looked around and there was NO ONE else on the train! I got myself RIGHT off at the next stop and just ran all the way home. This is not ok folks! (Thanks for sending me a taser dad.)