So one thing that I have found about no longer working for “the man”, I am definitely very free to explore all of my own whims each and everyday. However, there is one thing I recently discovered that I actually MISS about working for the man! I really do miss having coworkers! When you work for yourself (and mainly from home), it can get pretty darn lonely. I am the boss, the employee, HR, the customer, and any other thing you could think of. It’s all me! Don’t get me wrong, I really like doing things for myself, but there is no one to either condone or chastise my crazy ideas!
I’ve also come to find out that without working at my recent places of enslavement, oops, I mean employment; most of my co-worker relationships have fizzled. Out of sight out of mind maybe? I say most because there are some people I still talk to from time to time, but then again, on my last day, I knew there were some people that I’d probably never see again unless I came back to visit (which I’m not doing until I have a stack of hundred dollar bills to slap all of my old managers with).
This past weekend, I actually got the chance to meet up with some old co-workers of mine at a (drop dead GORGEOUS) West Village townhouse (no, but seriously, that house was AMAZING!) It’s always weird seeing people you haven’t seen in so long. I also DESPISE small talk, which is exactly what people do when “catching up”. Anywho, I wasn’t really invited by said coworker, but I tagged along (for the food). As I looked around the shindig to notice the old coworkers he actually DID invite, I began to realize the reason we hadn’t kept in touch directly. I have absolutely nothing to offer. I’m not rich, famous, a vapid blonde, I don’t have any impeccable musical talents, or an exuberant personality of sorts… so in theory, we wouldn’t make good out of work friends because the relationship simply would not be symbiotic.
That’s right people, most if not ALL of our lasting relationships are totally interdependent. We all want something from each other, whether we would like to admit it or not. Even if it’s as simple as the way the person makes you feel when they are around, you are getting SOMETHING from the relationship. Similarly, we all have something that someone else may want. Once I realized this about the people I come in contact with, I understood much more about human interaction. That being said, human interactions are still one of life’s great mysteries to me! Sometimes I like to be alone in my own awesome solitude, but then there are the rare chances when I feel as though someone to talk to would be nice. I also realize that mutual relationships are just that, MUTUAL! If someone you use to be friends with hasn’t contacted you in a while, guess whose fault that is? Both of you! You are perfectly capable as much as them to keep the communication going. But going back to what I said earlier, it is pretty hard to keep in touch with someone who isn’t really offering much.
Bottom line, friends are weird. People are weird! We can only expect as much as we put in, unless of course we have something super extraordinary to offer that negates the need for effort on our part, and others flock to arbitrarily in hopes that the residual awesomeness rubs off. Keep your good friends close. The ones that make you feel good without all the frills. If the frills just some happen to come along, great! But if you find yourself being friends with someone just because of the things they can do for you, it’s time to re evaluate!
Maybe it’s time for me to look for some activities that involve coworkers again. Nothing brings people together like complaints of a common tormentor! Perhaps this week, try reconnecting with a friend. Without wanting anything! Most of the time when I get a random text from someone WAAAAY back, before I even open it, in the back of my mind I’m like, “Geraldine, what does SHE want??” Or something along those lines. Just maybe ask how they are, what’s been up, or perhaps invite them to hang out! It sounds challenging right? But I know from experience, unsolicited extensions of geniality will ALWAYS brighten someone’s day.
P.s. The show FRIENDS is also very weird! I realized the other day (during one of my Netflix binges) that each of the “friends” are actually terrible people that we have all seemed to fall in love with! Chandler is the guy who annoyingly makes awkward jokes during serious moments; Joey is a sleezeball with the IQ of a 13 year old, Ross is whiney and jealous, Phoebe is really just out for herself, Rachel is pretty darn spoiled and selfish, and Monica…where do I even begin! But somehow they all work.
P.p.s. SERIOUSLY that West Village townhouse was one of the best pieces of real estate I’ve seen with my own eyes in NYC! (The absolute best being a duplex penthouse on Barclay Street near the World Trade Center, which featured a wrap around terrace with views of the entire city) I need to step my game up! But the rent is too damn high!
P.p.p.s. While friends are awesome, still don’t under estimate the power of being your own best friend. Nobody QUITE gets all of my offbeat jokes like I do, ya know? Planet Bretony may be pretty far from the sun, but trust me, it has it’s own power source!